once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
