U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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