I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
