I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
