I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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