can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My liver just had a heart attack.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
