so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
