My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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