guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
