Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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