and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i used baking grease as lip gloss
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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