Me. At least after what I've been through.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
