I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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