i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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