This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
