I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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