youre lurking in front of me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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