How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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