At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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