i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
