She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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