when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
