Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
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