just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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