Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
