i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
