The beer is more important than you right now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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