I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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