Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize