I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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