So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
