Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
