This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
