you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
two words: eviction party
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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