What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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