i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
