what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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