They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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