My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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