you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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