Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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