so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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