Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you never un-have a 4some
not ubering you a puppy
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
