Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Pooping to opera.
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