doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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