we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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