epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize