just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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