I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
