I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
