I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
