he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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