some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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