wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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