I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
