I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
