chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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