worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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