I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
