my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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