Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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