after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
